UNTIL DECEMBER COMES...

Hello Everyone,

We realize that it has been awhile since we have last update, and I think we have said that it every post thus far. Our intention was to post once a week with updates, but once we began blogging, we learned that updates for the adoption process don’t come that quickly. So again here we are, sorry we haven’t posted in awhile!

As for news, as you all probably know by now, Jen is pregnant and her due date is June 28th, which is coming upon us extremely quickly. We couldn’t have planned it any better, being that we both have the summers off.

And for the adoption, things have definitely become frustrating, as if they weren’t already. We had finally received a referral that we were going to accept. It was for a five year old boy from Taiwan. We originally wanted siblings, but since the process was taking so long and this referral came in, it was difficult to say no. So our intention was to adopt this little boy then adopt another child later on. So upon saying yes to the referral, our agency got back to us and informed us that Taiwan would not allow us to adopt. Their policy (meaning Taiwan’s policy) is that our biological child must be at least six months old before we are allowed to adopt from their country. Their rationale is that they want to make certain that all children, biological and adopted, will get equal treatment. Needless to say, we were and still are furious. We wrote a long letter to the president of our agency stating that we should have never been sent the referral then told that we were not allowed to adopt. It is extremely unethical, especially when considering all the emotions that go into viewing the photos and medical records of these children.

And so here we are, waiting another half a year to adopt. It has been approximately 1 ½ years since we began the adoption process. With all the children out there without families, you would think the process would go much smoother and quicker. I guess that’s what happens when politics and money become a motivator to help homeless children.

As for our supposed weekly updates on the blog, we are going to postpone the blogging until December, which is when we are legally allowed to continue the adoption process. So until December, we hope everyone’s year is going well and that you enjoy life!

Izzy & Jen

Good News Will Come Eventually

Well, Jen and I received some more news and unfortunately it is not the happy good news we were hoping for.  We had originally thought that the two sibling girls we received information on were going to be the children that we adopted.  We received a number of pictures of them and we were very excited.  Originally we thought the girls were five and nine, but we have just learned that the information was wrong.  After speaking with the agency, we found out that the pictures they had sent us were older photos from a few years ago.  So their ages are actually thirteen and nine.  We thought long and hard and realized that those ages just were not a good fit.  We know we want to adopt older children, but we felt that it was something we wanted to do when we were a little older.  This was a difficult decision to make, especially after looking at the photos so many times.  We actually began to consider them our children.  This is truly one of the most difficult things either of us has ever done.  Every time we don’t accept a referral, we always wonder what will happen to those children.  The only solace that we take is that there are many people out there adopting, and there is the right family out there for every child.  

Just When You Think You Have Life Under Control

Sorry we haven’t updated the site in quite some time, but it seemed that no one was really checking it for updates and to update on a weekly basis when there is no news becomes very difficult. 

Since it has been awhile, we actually had a few updates.  We received a referral about a month and a half ago for siblings from India.  We are not registered for India, only Taiwan, but since it was a rare and tragic scenario, they decided to contact everyone who was in the process of adopting siblings.  The referral was for four siblings, a five year old, four year old, two year old and a one year old.  We were not given too much information, but we guessed that the children must have lost their parents and family during the earth quake that occurred over a year ago.  We thought long and hard about these children, we even discussed it with our financial planner (Jen’s dad).  After days and days of discussing it, we realized that we would not be able to adopt them.  We were just not in the right place financially.   We even bought a few Mega Millions tickets in hopes of winning enough money to raise the children, but of course we didn’t win.  So as hard as it was to say no, we had to.  We can only hope that someone was able to adopt all four children so that they can stay together, especially after everything they have been through. 

So that was about a month and a half ago, then about a month ago we received word that there are two children, a seven year old girl and a six year old boy that the agency was waiting on medical records for.  They told us, just as the previous times, it would be any day as far as receiving the medical records.   Well if this process has taught us anything it is that any day means any month and that patience is something that can be learned when it has to be learned.   We are hoping that these will be our children and we thought and hoped that we would receive word around the holidays, but I guess that only happens in the sappy made for TV movies.

It has been about two years and eight months (not that we’re counting) since Jen and I began attempting to start a family and approximately a year and three months since we began the adoption process.  And with that, to everyone who said this would happen, you were right.   God really does have a sense humor.  For those of you who need to be hit with a hammer to understand the subtle hints, JEN IS PREGNANT!  We were shocked when we found out.  We know that some people may think that we will stop the adoption process since Jen is pregnant, but we won’t.  Even though we don’t know the kids yet, we already feel that they are ours.  We have also always wanted to adopt, whether we can have biological children or not.  So now the running joke is that we have outgrown our house and it only took us three months!  Well these are the things that make life fun and worth living, it’s the unexpected that keeps us guessing and the unexpected that makes us laugh, smile, cry and hope and without those emotions life becomes boring. 

We hope everyone had a great holiday season and the New Year brings a little bit of life to everyone.

We Received A Referral

We received a referral the other day for two children, a twelve year old girl and a four year old boy. We were extremely excited at first, but then we began to read more of the referral. We were very upset upon reading the medical reports. It was difficult to learn about the kids’ history, no child should have to endure such pain. The little girl had been sexually abused by her father for years, prior to being placed in an orphanage. We thought long and hard about the children and decided not to accept the referral. It is difficult to look at pictures of these children and learn about their history and not want to adopt them. It truly is heartbreaking, but I guess there are children out there that are a perfect fit for our family and we have to trust that we will know when we see them. Until that day comes, I’m certain that all these children we are learning about will remain in our minds and hearts for quite some time.

No news...

Well, we are still waiting. We have yet to hear anything. We called the agency last week for an update, but they have yet to call us back; ah, the world of adoption. Sorry for the short post, but there really isn’t anything else to say…

Un Uneventful Day

Well, the social worker has come and gone, without falling off the railing I might add. It was a pretty uneventful meeting, but it was productive. We learned that we should have had this discussion months ago. We didn’t realize that we were supposed to tell the social worker that we had changed adoption plans from a single child to siblings. So now she must make an addendum to our home study prior to sending it off to the agency, which then gets sent to the Taiwan courts. The day itself though was a little frustrating. We were told, or asked rather, to remove some of our plants because they are too low and remove the other plants because they are too high, hence we might not have any plants, ah, who needs oxygen anyway. We were also directed, asked, or suggested to possibly nail our floor lamps to the hardwood floors so that they won’t tip over on the children, as if we would let that happen. We purposely bought extremely light floor lamps so that they wouldn’t leave too big of a mark if they hit the kids (Just kidding Taiwan!). We do understand all of these requests, but I have to say, I draw the line when we are asked to put nails in our new hardwood floors! Just a question, for all of you who have had children naturally, did someone tell you where to place your plants or to nail down your floor lamps? Did our parents get the same requests? It’s a wonder that any of us survived our childhoods, I mean with playing outside until it got dark (no supervision), without electrical socket covers, lead paint, eating honey, no stove guards and of course no rubber barriers on any hard, sharp corners. I am proud to say that we did survive and we do have the scars to prove it! When we read about children being abused or left on a hospital’s doorsteps, or even when we read about parents killing their own children, I would like to know why they don’t have a social worker coming to their home asking them to move plants and lamps. Then I come to the realization, we have no say in the matter and we must keep quiet and play the game because it is the end result that matters.
*Sorry if this was a Debby Downer of a post, but sometimes things need to be said. Until next week…

The Waiting Game

Well, another week has passed and we are still waiting to hear word. We even called the agency this week to ask them a question about our paperwork, as we secretly hoped they would tell us that they have two children who are up for adoption, but no such luck. It has been about six weeks since our agency told us that paperwork is in the process of being prepared for two sets of siblings who are up for adoption. They also told us that it should be a few weeks, and here we are six weeks later. I think their window of time is worse than the cable company. Apparently, we are the only ones who seem to be in a rush. Well, there isn’t much more we can do besides wait. As for what we have already done: we have completed our parenting classes, have been finger printed four times, by countless government agencies, which was a little nerve racking with Jen’s history and all, she did sneak through the system though without anyone finding out about her aliases (To our agency, just kidding!). We have read about eight adoption books and wrote reviews on them for the agency, we have taken our CPR and First Aid classes, we wrote our wills, received our physicals to prove our health (it was a little touch and go with my health for a while. The doctor said I am a little over weight, but then we found out that I was just big boned, so all is good). So now we are working on getting Montana (our black lab) used to having kids around. She continues to play with all the neighborhood kids and at night we take out cardboard cutouts of kids and strategically place them around the house. At first she was just chewing on our kids, but as of late she has learned to just lick them instead, I think smearing them in peanut butter has helped!

This Friday we do have the social worker coming to do an inspection of our new home. There are still a lot of things that need to be done, but we are hoping that we can fix most of the problems before Friday. Tomorrow, Tom, who is doing the work for us, will be working on that tricky railing. We figured that was of high importance and that it might be a deal breaker if it’s not fixed. We also had another thought; we might bring the social worker to our neighbor’s house and pretend that it’s ours. But that is only reserved for last resorts. Other than that we continue to wait. Who ever thought that silence could be so loud, to the point that it is deafening.